|
1-5 of 5 messages
|
Page 1 of 1
|
|
My Favorite Snakes
|
Reply
|
|
by FSB on July 29, 2008
|
Mail this to a friend!
|
This is the kind of crap I come up with on long trips when there’s nothing good on the radio....
(to the tune of “My Favorite Things” from the Sound of Music).
My Favorite Snakes
Adapted Lyrics by Frederick S. Boyce
Music by Rodgers and Hammerstein
Corn snakes and king snakes,
Black rat snakes and queen snakes,
Red-sided garter snakes, brown snakes and green snakes,
Cottonmouths basking on roots by a lake:
These are a few of my favorite snakes.
Milk snakes and gopher snakes,
Pine snakes and racers,
All of the world’s most adept rodent-chasers,
Pythons as big as a telephone pole,
Lying submerged in a watering hole.
When it’s twi-light
And the bugs bite,
And the wife is mad....
I get in my Jeep and go looking for snakes,
And then I don’t feel....
So bad!
(2)
Bushmasters, death adders,
Boomslangs and cantils,
Little dwarf pythons who live inside ant-hills,
Huge gaboon vipers concealed in the leaves,
Waiting for dinner to come within reach.
Blind snakes and flying snakes
Swamp snakes and tree snakes,
Desert horned vipers and pelagic sea snakes,
For havin’ no legs they can sure get around:
There’s very few places where snakes can’t be found.
Poor old Ireland,
And Hawaii,
Poor Antarc-tica!
Just three of the places I never will go,
Because they ain’t got...
No snakes!
(3)
Boa constrictors and pink-toed tarantulas,
Used to show up in my store-bought bananas...
Those were the days, before chemical sprays:
Now everything is so darned F.D.A.
Rattlesnakes sheddin’ the skins they were born in,
Some of ‘em end up in church Sunday mornin’
Sure hope that preacher-man doesn’t get bit:
Or all them news-papers will just have a fit...
Mass-a-sau-gas!
In the bogs a-
Midst the cran-berries....
The more I consider, the more I feel sure,
That snakes are the thing....
For me!
(4)
Red spitting cobras
And big Fer de Lances,
Emerald tree boas draped upon branches...
Copperheads crossing the road in the night-
That’s always one of my favorite sights....
Ana-con-das!
Kraits and mambas, how I love them so....
They’ve been here ten jillion years
longer than ussss,
So leave ‘em the hell....
A-lone!
(alternately)
Ana-con-das!
Kraits and mambas, what else can I say?
They all have a purpose, they all have a place,
So let’s just give snakes....
A brake!
|
| |
|
Email Subscription
You are not subscribed to this topic.
Subscribe!
My Subscriptions
Subscriptions Help
Check our help page for help using
, or send questions, comments, or suggestions to the
Manager.
|
