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11-15 of 15 messages
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RE: Divorce, leading you to your first hot.
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by Joy on December 10, 2004
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Yep, there’s a story.
I’m not going to bash someone that’s not here to defend their self, but I will say my marriage was never pleasant.
I had no idea my ex was afraid of snakes. The subject had never come up. (And after the first 6 months, we didn’t speak much.)
A work friend had gone to the Columbus OH reptile show, and bought a corn snake. I mentioned that I had a corn snake in college and would like to have another one. The next month, they drug back one for me! I was shocked and thrilled. I didn’t have a cage or any equipment, so I went to the pet store at lunch time and got the whole set up. I was so happy with my little corn snake! The ex was not pleased, but didn’t say much.
I bought several more corn snakes, built racks to house them, and was delighted in my revived interest (I had always loved snakes). The ex was not pleased, but I paid all the bills, so he wasn’t going anywhere.
One of my snakes got out (still not sure how!). The ex left. I found the snake. Good snake!
Unfortunately, I had to move around a lot during the divorce. I had to find those corn snakes good homes. But I kept the Jungle Carpet Python, and 2 ½ years later, my snake collection is once again growing!
I am fascinated by hots, but I think I may have waited too long. It looks like most folks get into hots very early—when they are still invincible and going to live forever. I’m enthralled with hots and admire the people who keep them. I would LOVE to find someone to apprentice with. But I would NEVER jump in on my own. I’m just too cautious for that now.
Besides, I have a soft spot for corns now…..
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RE: Divorce, leading you to your first hot.
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by Dadee on December 11, 2004
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I too am in Todd's situation. My girl thought it was a pretty ridiculous idea, what with the kids and all. However, I am also an extremely "safe" person when it comes to my guns. I have trained a lot of people, and them as well, in the safe handling of firearms, and this in my book was no different. I treat my hots just as I do my weapons. Yeah, sure she gets a bit cranky when there's a new addition to the collection of the breeding colony. She quickly gets over it. She knows that I amassed all the necessary tools FIRST. That put her mind at ease just a bit. She's still a little uncomfortable about having dangerous live creatures in our house, but also knows that I've done EVERYTHING I can to prevent an escape.
Her youngest son, now 19, has an affinity as well with the hots and wildlife in general. Him and I take precautions as our most paramount position when dealing with any of the many dangerous items in the house and abroad. This is something that put her mind at ease, even if it was in the slightest.
I told her that this was something we WERE going to do and with that I did it. This kind of scenario doesn't always play out very well, but with all of the above listed, you can show someone that you are a responsible person, prior to getting that first hot, which will alay their fears enough to introduce the idea.
Show them how you intend on handling and caring for such a thing, if possible, in the wild first. Definitely don't get it near them, as this will only emphasize those hairs that are standing up on the back of her neck.
When I introduced my hots to the house, I extended an invitation to her to come and see them in their secured cages, even if it was through the viewing window of my hot room. I didn't force it on her, but did stand my ground on them being here. She told me that she didn't want to have anything to do with them. I said that's fine, but please read my bite protocols and listen up for me when I'm downstairs with them. She agreed and was amazed at the preparation. She did eventually make her way downstairs one day, as I was logging notes in the journal on one of the snakes. She looked at the cages and asked some questions about the types and where they live...etc. This was a great leap forward in her acceptance. The rest is now history. I have placed names to the snakes...another little thing that brings to her mind an identity for the snake I'm talking about. The only other thing I can say about having them both (the girl and the snakes), is balancing your time spent with the snakes and the girl. If you make sure that she doesn't feel you spend too much time with them...that also can go a LONG way in her acceptance.
Good luck in getting that first hot in your life along with a relationship.
Cheers,
Matt
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RE: Divorce, leading you to your first hot.
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by Joy on December 13, 2004
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Of course! And I give up! I’m not even looking.
The last date I went on told me, “Women your age that aren’t married are sluts.” And “Snakes were cursed by Satin. If I’m going to marry you, you’ll have to get rid of them.”
Should have fed him to my python…..That was the first and only date, and it ended right then! Now I just have to laugh about it.
Guys, know that it works the other way around too. If a snake lady meets a snake-phobe, the snake-phobe tends to feel VERY UNMANLY. It’s doomed to fail.
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RE: Divorce, leading you to your first hot.
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by new2hots on December 13, 2004
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Joy, Its not always doomed to fail. I have a buddy, his wife and he were both into snakes when they met. Now there collection is over 2000 snakes and they both are perfectly happy
Garry
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